I love nursing. I love the team that I work with at the hospital. But I would be lying if I said there weren’t some bad shifts mixed in, that ended in crying.
#1 Being yelled at by Physicians or other Nurses.
It’s been a busy night in the ER, or multiple codes were called within the hospital; either way, the physician or on-call physician has been working all shift. You, as the floor nurse, have no idea how busy they are or if they happen to come into their change in a bad mood. You call up the physician for your patient, and before you know it, you are getting screamed at and made to feel less than worthy of your license. Believe me, I have been yelled at, I had one surgeon yell at me because a young patient and parent were complaining of pain. The pain was post-surgical, so some discomfort was expected. Although I can’t remember the exact procedure, it was something to do with the throat. The location alone made me nervous. At the time, I did not have any experience with these procedures, and the patient was able to breathe. After speaking with my shift supervisor, I was advised to call the surgeon. It wasn’t that late, in fact, I called so I would have to call later on during the night. I was yelled at for bothering him and that I should have educated the patient on the pain that they are experiencing is normal, and that the patient needs to suck it up. I was a brand new nurse, overwhelmed by the tone and the fact he made me feel like I didn’t know what I was doing. I spoke with my supervisor again, and she comforted me, that what I did was right, and that he shouldn’t talk to nurses like that. In the three years at that hospital, I never came across that surgeon again.
#2 A code at shift change.
The end of the shift is brought on with a sigh of relief. If the previous twelve-hour was busy, or if you are just feeling tired after work, the sight of the oncoming shift is met with a happy sigh. At times an additional surge of excited energy to be able to go home and sleep. My first every code as a new nurse occurred as I was giving my bedside shift report to the day nurse. We went in, we spoke to the patient, as we were finishing up and about to walk out, the patient complained that he couldn’t breathe. Before I knew it, I pushed the code button, chest compressions were started, and a slew of other people entered into the room. I was bombarded with questions I didn’t know how to answer and asked times severely what happened to lead to the code blue or code Leo. The patient transferred to another unit, I gave a report to that unit’s day nurse, wrote my notes, an incident report, and spoke with the supervisors before leaving. The patient didn’t pass, but the adrenaline, excitement, and close call for the patient, for the first time in my nursing career. I got to my car and immediately went into large sobbing tears. I was so overwhelmed, I never experienced anything and not sure how to handle the wave of emotions.
#3 Busy night.
The more acute patient or a busy patient has also overwhelmed my night. The elderly patient is alert and oriented for the day shift. As soon as day shift and the family leaves somewhere around nine at night, or during the evening medication pass, the patient begins to sun-down. Now for those of you who have never heard this before, you will when you work nights. Patients with mild confusion or dementia become so much worse at night. If the floor can’t get a sitter, the responsibility comes down to you or your CNA or tech. Many nights I have had to do all my documents in a patient’s room so they would accidentally hurt themselves. If it was just the one patient you had, it would be fine. But adding five more patients who need to go to the bathroom, need pain medication, or all of a sudden feel nauseated makes for a stressful night. When a patient with a history of dementia have family stay the night, I just want to say thank you to those family members. I have seen a physician walk out of the room at the change of shift and given a terminal diagnosis. The patient crying, overwhelmed by the diagnosis and the amount of information thrown at the patient all at once. As the oncoming shift, you meet the patient at their worst, lowest, and most emotional. Those nights when you connect with a patient can be some of the most rewarding but also the most emotionally draining.
Situations will come about in your nursing career, and most of them early on, that are overwhelming, and you too will break down and cry. Don’t worry, everyone does. We lose patients, we connect with patients, you would be a nurse if that didn’t mean becoming emotionally involved. Cry. Reach out to talk to someone, whether a family member, a fellow nurse, or management. What moment have you had that made you cry?